Couples planning to get married or merge households rarely spend enough time discovering if they share financial values. Those that do, benefit from it.

Given that most couples probably spend more time planning their weddings than their future finances, the time you spend discussing your money with your spouse-to-be is extremely worthwhile. However, there is no single right way to manage your money together. As you can see from the comments from members of the Armchair Millionaire community about the subject, the options are as varied as the people involved:

Yours and mine. "When we married 25 years ago …I insisted on separate checking accounts, VISA card for her in her name, and a MasterCard for me in my name. She paid the second mortgage and I paid the first mortgage. She bought groceries and clothes for the three kids. I paid utilities, IRAs, insurance, vacations, etc. We paid credit cards off each month (sometimes having to borrow from each other). Each was responsible for balancing their own checking account and spending any disposable income remaining after all the bills were paid." --is24

Half 'n half. "We split our incomes in half and contribute that to the total household bills. We each use half of our halves to invest in stocks, 401(k), money market accounts and to pay for personal expenses. What's left is mad money." --Liz

All together now. "My husband and I share the financial responsibilities. I handle the day-to-day finances for most things. He handles all the taxes, investments, and insurance. We both know what is going on in each area of our financial life and we communicate about it openly and regularly." --Lynda

Rather than trying to find the "right" answer, look at your situation together and make your own plan. Use my checklist for the questions you and your sweetie should ask each other in order to become a financially sound twosome.

The Armchair Millionaire's Checklist for Love and Money

How's your credit? This is no time for secrets. You should each order your credit report and share it with the other. If your future spouse's credit history isn't great, that should tell you something about how you may want to manage your finances together.

Should we have joint or separate accounts? Consider not just your checking accounts, but also any investment accounts you have. If you have any doubts, keep them separate for now—you can always merge them later. Or, you can maintain both separate and joint accounts.

Who will pay for existing debt? It's common for one or both of you to have car or student loans. Will you each be responsible for the debt you bring to the relationship, or will you both contribute towards paying if off?

Who will pay the bills? Will all the bills go into the same pile and get paid out of the same account? Or will you one of you take care of the rent while the other pays for the utilities and groceries? Many couples take each other's income into consideration on this question, with the higher earner paying for the lion's share of the expenses.

Who will manage the books? Believe it or not, some people actually enjoy taking care of the check book, paying the bills and doing the taxes. Decide if one of you will be responsible for these chores, or if you'll share them.

What are your priorities? You probably already know if your spouse-to-be wants three kids or a cabin at the lake, but what is really most important over the long term? Buying a house in a certain range? Going back to school and changing careers? Retiring at a particular age? If you can agree on your priorities, you'll drastically reduce the potential for money-related conflict.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Talking about money before you join households may not seem romantic, but money quarrels once you're sharing the same house aren't romantic, either. Take time in advance to reach an understanding about how you will handle your finances.